by Coleen Valdez
Over a hundred years ago, all women had were clothes and a pair (or two) of old-fangled shoes. They had no power, no voice, no possessions, not even a name – Mrs. Hopkins, Miss Havisham, Mrs. Thomas and so on; their identity hailed from the men in their clan. Their personal growth was thus restrained by these despotic men and the stifling norms in their time.
Back then, marriage wasn’t a pact of love, it was purely business –a sentence of life imprisonment without trial. In point of fact, they were regarded as drudges and whores; they were regimented, neglected and wounded. For decades, they battled through their patriarchal society but they still cut no ice. Men could slap them, kick them, cheat on them and abandon them without having to worry about the repercussions. It was an inevitable and horrendous fate, but still some women had managed to escape—only they had to pay the price of their sanity.
That’s right. These malevolent, self-seeking jerks (A.K.A. men) took pleasure in controlling and manipulating poor, subservient women to the point that they literally lost their minds.
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Women have changed over the ages, and so have men. But somehow, he still has the inexplicable hold on her. Whether it is out of her passionate, unconditional love or his abiding Machiavellian nature, we don’t know.
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There are times when women generalize, underestimate and stereotype men. That’s why these no-bullshit, no-drama, blunt folks see the former as crabby, peeving brats. Are they really? Men have no idea what women gamble when it comes to love.
Men can hang out and last a day without even mentioning their girlfriends, but women on a girls’ night out or whatever-you-call-it don’t kiss each other goodbye without sharing a bit of nonsense about their boys. Mind you, she would tell her girlfriends how you woke up at 7 in the morning and texted her “I miss you.” Barf if you should, but that’s true bud.
Maybe she gets mad at the silliest things—say, you forgot to call her on time—but you have no idea how it breaks her heart. That’s something you don’t give a damn to, really, but that’s how she knows you think she’s special.
She keeps the wrapper of the candy you first gave her, the passes of the movies you’ve seen together, your ugliest picture or the hanky that has your scent. Things you get rid of. You don’t understand this, but she keeps every part of you. EVERY PART.
Sometimes during a fight, she doesn’t talk to you, which makes you think she needs a hell of a time. So you don’t call, and she gets mad at you for that. Now you’re confused because you don’t understand that it’s a crucible. She’s testing you: She wants you to run after her and prove her that you can’t afford to lose her. You, men, don’t like this kind of cheesy, icky stuff because you think it makes you less of a ‘man.’ Well, you don’t know what women think a real man is supposed to be: A man is someone who pushes a car stranded on the road but pulls when being pushed away by his girlfriend.
You don’t understand why she wants you to say “sorry” even though it’s her fault. Simple: You’re the man, you fix it. She admits her mistakes after all, doesn’t she?
You find it selfish and controlling when she tells you not to hang out with other girls. Let’s put it this way: You fought blood and sweat to win her, to have her, to be with her. You wooed her. And when you finally got her, you started partying or flirting with a hot brunette in your Anthro class. Wow, that’s rude.
Lastly, when she’s not in her best mood, you start a fight and make her feel worse. There are times when she compares herself to your ex, or the girl/s who is/are head-over-heels in love with you. You have to understand that all she needs is your embrace and a word from you that even when she’s in her nasty, baggy clothes, her hair is scraped into a bun and her nails are undone, she still is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Maybe you’re not jerks after all. Sure, you are wonderful people. There’s never a story without you in it. So be the hero.
Women have been through so much pain and oppression; it won’t hurt to give them a favor.